Back to Black: Thoughts on Amy Winehouse
I don't ever wanna drink again
I just, ooh, I just need a friend
I'm not gonna spend ten weeks
Have everyone think I'm on the mend
And it's not just my pride
It's just 'til these tears have dried
Unless you live under a rock, you know that singer Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home on Saturday. There has been no official cause of death released, but considering Amy's long and very public struggle with alcohol and drug addiction everyone is assuming an overdose was the likely culprit.
I was devastated by the news. Her 2006 album Back to Black is one of my top 10 favorite albums of all time. The music manages to be both complex enough to be interesting but simple enough to be enjoyable. Her lyrics are raw, emotional, and came as a total breath of fresh air after what seemed like years and years of Britney and Britney wannabes.
I had read enough about her recently to hope against hopes she was making a comeback after years of false starts due to her addiction. I had even remarked to my husband that it seemed like she was going to finally make a comeback. (I should have known not to get my hopes up after Whitney.) So, when I heard over the radio that she was found dead, I was surprised at a death that shouldn't have been a surprise.
For purely selfish reasons, I wanted her to live. I wanted more of her music desperately. Her debut Frank is good but Back to Black is a masterpiece, and I wanted more from her.
But beyond that, the whole thing just makes me feel gross. I remember reading the now infamous Rolling Stone profile and thinking what I'm sure everyone thought about Amy Winehouse when they first found out about her. "She's going to end up dead." And now she is and we all just sat around and watched it happen.
I know I wasn't going to be part of the solution. I didn't know Amy Winehouse and I doubt she would have listened to my pleas to get help. But I can't help but feel that I was part of the problem. I followed her story and if I'm being honest, I followed her downward spiral more closely than her attempts at recovery. And like I've said before, I wanted more from her—more from an artist a freshman in Psych 101 could tell wasn't physically or emotionally capable of giving it.
So, Amy Winehouse joins a sad club of other artists who rode waves of musical acclaim only to drown under the crush of fame. I'm sure she won't be the last.
And all I'm left with is a handful of songs and the twinge of guilt I now feel while listening to them.
~ Sarah Stewart Holland
4 Comments
Reader Comments (4)
You summed up feelings pretty well. In an odd way I often think of you when I listen to Amy Winehouse's music - I first heard "Back to Black" the summer I met you and Nicholas in DC. I would listen to "Valerie" every morning on my way to the campaign office.
In a way I feel like we all share a sliver of responsibility for her struggles with addiction. I watched many of her drunken TV appearances and found them amusing. Now I just feel gross and guilty. The cell phone footage of her appearance in Serbia last month (where she was booed off stage) is simply too heartbreaking to watch. It's like she's already dead.
One video I keep going back to is this performance of "Love is a Losing Game." Amy starts to cry in the middle of it and it's clear just how much of herself she gave through her music. I'm thankful she gave as much as she did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L9-AvjsB6g&feature=fvst
Salon's take: http://bit.ly/rqQUoB
Great article Rob!
My favorite line:
She made dozens of unforgivable professional and personal mistakes, but no one could accuse her of being full of shit.
I remember when Patrick introduced me to Amy Winehouse's music. I was overwhelmed at the raw talent and her ability to pen a song. I listened to Back In Black for months & even went back to it time and time again; never tiring of the sound. I'm ashamed that I, too, watched as she succumbed to her addiction. In essence, just waiting for it to happen. I wish that there could've been help in time to save her. She will forever be a 27 year old prodigy. What a beautiful, talented lost soul...I hope that she is at peace.