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Wednesday
Oct312012

Say “No” to Others So You can Say “Yes” to Yourself

Suze Orman obviously is best known as one of Oprah’s expert sidekicks and an accessible financial advisor to the masses. While I love Miss O, I honestly had written off many of her reoccurring guests, except Dr. Oz and Nate Berkus (my faves!), because I felt the rest were caricatures who were too loud or personalities that only resonated with my grandma. But as the moral of the story goes: You can’t judge a book by its cover!

Suze Orman opened up and shared that she wasn’t always successful. In fact, for much of her young life she thought she was dumb and not worthy. As a child she didn’t speak well and, as a result, was unfairly treated at school and didn’t even feel confident in reading. Eventually, in her 20s, she became a waitress making $400/month and continued with this job until her 30s when a customer who believed in her gave her $50,000 to invest in her own restaurant. Per the customer’s instructions, Suze invested that money in a money market account only later to learn that her broker was crooked and stole every last cent.

But instead of being paralyzed by the bad luck, Suze saw that loss as a gift. A gift for her to keep learning and moving forward. And it was in this moment that she understood how strong she was and knew she could come out on the other side as her own shining star. The rest is history. 

In her address to the crowd at O You 2012!, Suze’s overarching message was that women in particular need to stop undervaluing ourselves and recognize that we can do whatever we set our minds to. Here is her food for thought: 

  • You need to learn to give to yourself as much as you give of yourself. 
  • You are the only thing standing in the way of the life and money you deserve.
  • The key to success for women is to stop multitasking, which she swears is the “ruination of perfection.” Be present where you are the moment you are there and take one step after the next—the road will take you where you are meant to be but didn’t know you were capable of achieving. 
  • Another key is learning to say “no.” Or said differently: Say “no” to others, so you can say “yes” to yourself. Out of fear women often ignore their inner voices, so make a vow to say what your are thinking and feeling. This is especially important because your thoughts become your actions, and your actions become your destiny. If the thoughts passing through your head are not kind, necessary, or true, stop that line of thinking so it doesn’t become a habit.
  • Never solve a financial problem with money. Go within to see why you are going without. You will gain power by understanding that you're perfect no matter the situation—you should be proud of what you do and don’t have and stop worrying about impressing others.
  • Get as much pleasure out of saving as you do spending. 
  • Women fake orgasms. Men fake finances. Know what is happening with and to your money.
  • Live below your means and within your needs. Ask if that purchase you’re considering is a “want” or “need.” If it’s a want, say no to yourself out of love to yourself.
  • It is better to do what is right than what is easy.
  • Wish others greatness. A wish for another is a wish for yourself.

What do you think? Words of wisdom or not? 

~ The Other Sarah

Reader Comments (3)

Can Suze do a memo for employers about multitasking being the ruination of perfection??? So good to hear someone say that out loud! I think perfection is somewhat of a ridiculous goal, but it definitely doesn't fit hand in glove with the demand to do 6 things at once! Obviously this post hit a nerve for me today :)

October 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle W.

Michelle, you want to know what my desktop says? DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT. :)

- SSH

October 31, 2012 | Registered CommenterSalt & Nectar

Amen, Michelle. When the demands never cease, it's near impossible to do anything well. I wonder when it employers started to prefer a jack of all trades and a master of none?

November 4, 2012 | Registered CommenterSalt & Nectar

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