Musings of the Fat and Sober: Vol. 3

I would like to open this edition of preggo bitching with an apology. To every pregnant woman to whom I have ever used the phrase, "Honey, you're not fat, you're pregnant!" I offer my sincere apologies. While I completely meant it when it was said, I now see your point. Because while, yes, I am pregnant, I am also fat(ter). Abdomen gain? Mostly baby. Boob gain? Toss up. But thigh gain? Ass? Arms? Fat. Fat. Faaaat.

And please don't start in with me here about how they are all interconnected. Blah, blah, blah. I'm pregnant and I'm fat. Yes, there is no escaping it, but that doesn't make it untrue. I'm still not big enough to be obvious, so I know people often assume I'm just getting pudgy. You're welcome to ignore me when I bitch that I'm fat. And you are even more welcome to tell me I look great. But only if you mean it.

This is my trick. I wear stripes because it actually makes me look pregnant, even though we all know they do nothing flattering for the figure. Hence why it's best to ignore me when I say I look fat. This is preggo logic, people.

I am so over old wives tales and half-facts. Oh, you've heard I shouldn't get massages? Can't have my hair done? Should get rid of my cats? I have one thing to say: I am the research queen, damnit, so if you've heard this "fact," I guarantee I have also heard it. If I'm doing it anyway, it means I have considered it, debunked it (or determined what about it is unsafe/should be avoided), and moved on. Also, it is none of your effing business, especially when we don't know each other. But thanks for looking out. Really. XO.

Oh, and old wives tales go the other way, too, btw. Cocoa butter, shea, etc. etc. don't help stretch marks. You get them or you don't. It's a medical, genetic-based fact. That's not to say I'm not rubbing it on every morning anyway (I'm dry, ok?), but it's still just a story. Just like me having acne doesn't make it a girl. Even though everyone other than my grocery store checker has decided that it does.

Speaking of, no, we are not finding out the sex. No, I don't care what it is. I really, honestly don't. I promise. And I find it a little disturbing that you think I should be hoping for one over the other. Talk about your kid entering the world with a 50% chance of already disappointing you. They have their whole lives to do that.

I am crazy jealous of my cats. Not only do they just get to lounge around all day, they get to be comfortable while doing it. (Especially Ramona. She's got this on lock.)

See, I am a back sleeper. When that fails, I'm a stomach sleeper. Seeing that I can't do either anymore basically means sleeping is no longer fun. Well, I can lay on my stomach, but if you've ever tried to lie on a soccer ball, you know why this isn't happening. Back sleeping is out per doc's orders. Something about the weight of my engorged uterus and cutting off circulation to myself and the baby...I wasn't really listening; I was busy catching up on sleep with my eyes open. I have more and more in common with my Greta everyday.

Seriously, she sat like this without moving for like 5 minutes. She is amazing. And now I am done with my cats for this edition.

So I'm stuck on my sides. Which I hate. My shoulders fall asleep more easily than I do, and pregnancy hip pain has commenced in full effect, so my body pillow and I (see below) spend a lot of time flipping during the night. And when I'm not super gracefully using my entire body weight to attempt to turn over in one swift action, (side note: SO glad we sprung for the King bed last year. And that he can sleep through anything.) I'm getting up to pee. Every. Two. Hours. My under-eye circles have never looked so good, let me tell you.

In awesome news, however, my knees no longer hurt. I can sit on the toilet without whimpering again! (Yay!) I can do lunges again! (Yay? And also, "again?")

What is with the blood coming out of my nose? I'm not 8, and I don't play soccer. That's who gets nosebleeds, right? I feel like every nosebleed depicted on tv is an 8 year old in cleats. And I never played, which I'm certain is why I never have had one. Anyway, blood streaming out of nose at 6:30am is strange enough. Explaining to my husband that it's perfectly normal is even stranger.

And now, a few words of advice:

Rethink the Brazilian wax. The first few preg-waxes (ew, that's a terrible word) weren't bad—no worse than usual, which I normally handle like a champ. I'd been warned that it would be more painful "during this special time," so I'd left the salon all high and mighty. Hurt?? Ha! Not me! Best pregnancy ever! And then 19 weeks hit, and oh. my. god. I was squealing wincing so much my waxer (of two years) actually giggled at me. And then told me I was crazy, confessing that she never had the guts to do it while she was pregnant. NOW she tells me...

You know that show you love that makes you cry? Stop watching it. Mine happens to be Grey's Anatomy-I'm currently trying to catch up on last season, so I've been watching several at a time on Netflix. Hubby doesn't understand why "that stupid show is even still on," which meant he was more than happy to oblige when I told him to put me on Grey's restriction. (Of course, he came home the next night to find me crying into the couch pillow again.) Seriously, though. The baby needs fluids. Sobbing inconsolably about how Mandy Moore diiiiiiiieeed just means you're tempting dehydration.

Buy the body pillow. And get a cute cover for it, while you're at it. It's going to be your best (and most intimate, it works best all tucked in between your legs) friend for months, so you may as well treat it as such. I haven't caved and sprung for an expensive one yet—I'm thinking the Snoogle—but I feel the time is fast approaching. These hips are seriously hurting.

No joke—it's enormous, and a little like having a threesome every night. (I guess?) I feel like I should name it, or at least buy it breakfast in the morning.

What about you all? Any nighttime pregnancy remedies/pillow brands, etc. you want to throw my way? My sanity thanks you in advance.

~ Pam Huber of Seriously Yum

The Scoop

These daily sample sale sites can be a mom's best friend but not if you never have time to look at them! Now, all you have to do is stop by Salt & Nectar for the scoop on the best of all the sales. We search the top sites and recommend our favorite product on sale that day.

Alexis's pick: Auggie the Octopus Play Hut, $40, Gilt. 

Image via Gilt

Lots of good sales today--I had a hard time resisting the Rosalina smocking from Zulily--but I'm loving this playful Octopus play hut from Bazoongi.  It's girly but not overtly so.  What a nice break from pretty pretty princess decor for girls!

Sale ends 11/13.

Check back for the scoop on tomorrow's sales!

California v. Kentucky: Top 5 Day Trips

California

Living in Southern California is a pretty close to perfect because one gets to enjoy pristine weather, which fosters a healthy outdoor lifestyle. And the more one is outside of the house, the more one takes advantage of the cultural and geographic diversity the area has to offer. I truly appreciate living in a city where one can easily experience the beach, the mountains, and the desert; the urban, the suburban, and the rural; and, most importantly, the languages, the foods, and the traditions of the Golden State. And the California freeways—assuming one doesn't encounter the infamous traffic—make day trips from LA to these wonderful places across the region a breeze.

{ Image via Santa Barbara Weather }1. Santa Barbara. There's a reason Santa Barbara is often considered the heart of the California Riviera—it's breathtakingly beautiful. When heading north to this coastal town, we don't have a set agenda in mind and simply plan on enjoying a beautiful drive up the coast (windows open!), a leisurely afternoon stroll on State Street (a bit touristy but charming nonetheless), lunch at Lilly's Taqueria (which I surprisingly learned about from the New York Times...anyone want to join me on this taco trip?), and afternoon play at the beach. If you're looking to plan your day trip around a specific activity, visit Old Mission Santa Barbara, the beachfront Santa Barbara Zoo, or enjoy a wine tour sans kids.

2. Laguna Beach. For the record, Laguna Beach is not and never will be like the unfortunate pictures painted by MTV and BravoTV. I heart this quirky, artsy beach town in the midst of the more conservative OC that still has the same mom-and-pop shops as it did 30 years ago! Within an hour, you can park your car and be free of it for the day because everything in the downtown is walkable—the beaches with playgrounds and tide pools, the art galleries and surf shops, and the many eateries from family friendly to fancy. If you visit during the summer, you can enjoy the Festival of Arts - Pageant of the Masters, an annual event unique to Laguna where paintings truly come to life. And, of course, a trip isn't complete without Mexican Food (are you sensing a trend?). Our faves are Javier's and the Coyote Grill.

{Laguna Beach Sunset}

3. Palm Springs. When I think of Palm Springs, I think of mid-century modern design, extreme HEAT, retirement, and my high school prom. All weird associations, I know, but it's true that I attended three proms in this desert resort town. While these memories seem random, I honestly think that's what makes Palm Springs a great day trip destination. There's so many things to do there—take tours of mid-century and celebrity homes, go golfing, enjoy vintage shopping downtown, relax at the spas or desert hot springs, hike the hills, or take the tram to the top of Mt. San Jacinto. Then eat at the fun Ace Hotel, it might make you want to stay a night.

4. San Diego.  Because traffic can be such a bore, leave your car at home at take one of the 12 daily round trips from LA to San Diego on the Amtrak Pacific Surfliner. What kid doesn't love trains, and what parent doesn't love being able to sit back and relax for the ride? You can even bring your bike onboard, so you can pedal around Old Town San Diego or zip over to the attractions on Harbor Drive that are a short walking distance from the downtown depot.

5. Lake Arrowhead. Despite all my talk of sun, surf, and sand, we actually have...wait for it...mountains and snow in Southern California.  During the winter, you can introduce your kids to the bunny slopes at Snow Valley. If skiing isn't your thing, enjoy Lake Arrowhead Village, spin like Michelle Kwan at the Ice Castle, visit the elves at Santa's Village, or wait for the warmer months for a day on the lake.

{Lake Arrowhead Village. Image by shadowhound via wikipedia}

Kentucky

Paducah is at the center of it all. You just didn't know it.

We sit at the confluence of the Ohio and Tennessee Rivers. We are mere miles away from Kentucky Lake and 15 minutes from Illinois. In fact, a two-hour drive can get you to five—count 'em FIVE—states. Sure, we don't have the ocean but who needs it when Superman lives just over the bridge!

So, I'm going to cheat just a bit and break down the Top 5 categories of day trips, instead of specific locations.

The City Museum. Image via Delta Sky Magazine.

1. Big Cities. Nashville and St. Louis are easy day trips for families aching to get out of town and stare at some skyscrapers. Both cities are great destinations for kids. Nashville has an amazing zoo and St. Louis's City Museum, which describes itself as an "eclectic mixture of children's playground, funhouse, surrealistic pavilion, and architectural marvel," is one of the best, most unique children's attractions in the nation.

Mammoth Cave. Image via National Geographic.

2. Outdoor Recreation. Land Between the Lakes National Recreation Area is only about thirty minutes away and boasts miles of hiking, camping, and fishing area. Above ground recreation isn't your thing? Kentucky also has the world's largest known cave system - appropriately called Mammoth Cave.  The Shawnee National Forest and Garden of the Gods are also less than an hour away.

Couldn't resist. Image via wikipedia.

3. Roadside Attractions. Y'all, Superman is totally my neighbor. Metropolis, IL, is only about 15 minutes away and the Superman statue alone is worth a visit. Up for other wacky locales? How about where Corvettes are made? You could even go to Paris...

4. Cultural Experiences. Kentucky has one of the fastest growing Amish populations in the nation. Seeing the horse and buggies never gets old. Neither does their amazing food or craftsmanship.

5. History at your back door.  Some of the most famous names in American history lived and died in this area. From Abraham Lincoln to Davy Crockett, this area was the wild, wild west for a significant portion of our country's history and has plenty of amazing stories to tell.

A Week in the Life: Introduction

For the next seven days, I will be documenting my family's life. Every meal. Every errand. Every story time. Every moment.

Inspired by Ali Edwards, I tackled the Week in the Life project last summer and was completely enamored with the results. It wasn't just the album. It was the process. Don't get me wrong. It's A LOT of work. I'm literally snapping pictures and taking notes from the second I wake up until the second I go to bed. But making yourself a documentarian of your life opens up a whole new level of awareness - suddenly you see those special smiles and quiet moments with increasing clarity.

So, I've got everything ready. My camera battery is charged. My tripod is ready to go and I've got all notepads ready.

Anyone want to come along with me?

~ Sarah Stewart Holland

The Scoop

These daily sample sale sites can be a mom's best friend but not if you never have time to look at them! Now, all you have to do is stop by Salt & Nectar for the scoop on the best of all the sales. We search the top sites and recommend our favorite product on sale that day.

Sarah's pick: Charabia Eva Lace Rosette Dress, $86, HauteLook.

Today was tough. There are a lot of great sales out there. This Magnificent Baby stuff is ridiculously adorable and my love of Zutano is well-documented. However, since I don't have a daughter, I can outfit my imaginary one in gorgeous French dresses without regard to cost. If you have a real daughter, I think this beautiful rosette number would be fabulous for the holidays.

Sale ends  Mon, 11/28.

Check back for the scoop on tomorrow's sales!