Recently when working at my office—a local coffee shop—I overheard two parents openly discussing their regular enjoyment of pot (and, no, I don’t mean the ceramic kind). Of course, I’m not surprised by this pair’s revelations—I do live in Los Angeles where medicinal marijuana dispensaries dot the street and the fictional Nancy Botwins of the world fight their suburban, stay-at-home mom image by dealing to locals. And while I’m not here to comment or pass judgment on these informed adults’ choice to follow the Snoop Dogg treatise on rest and relaxation, their conversation made me wonder if role modeling responsible and moderate consumption of a joint, dirty martini, Marlboro Red, or even a supersized burger and fries positively or negatively affects a child’s likelihood of addiction.
According to a recent article published in Time, parents who allow adult-supervised drinking among their children surprisingly fail to teach lessons about using alcohol responsibly and instead are handing over a “license to imbibe.” The study cited by Time reveals that while one thinks that teens would adopt responsible habits by drinking with their parents, the kids in reality lack the maturity to handle alcohol consumption in a social setting sans Mom and Dad—they don’t know how to say “no” to more than one beer or their friends. The study even implies that kids who drink with their parents are more likely to abuse the substance than those whose parents instituted a zero tolerance policy.
I often take studies with a grain of salt, especially because the statistical data generally doesn’t jibe with what we witness in our daily lives. I’ve known people who were raised in households free of all vices yet end up with serious addiction problems, and I’ve also known people whose parents used drugs, smoked cigarettes, or drank heavily on a daily basis but they would never touch the stuff. In many ways, I think friends have more influence than the parents do on kids' eating, drinking, drug use, and other social habits.
Even so (and, yes, go ahead and call me old fashioned), I think it's a bad idea for kids to witness their parents enjoying bouts of excess (I'm not talking about a glass of vino with dinner) or to partake as equals in any guilty pleasure. Otherwise, you're bound to find yourself in a "do as I say, not as I do" situation because at some point you'll have undermined your authority as a parent — could you take your parents seriously if you saw them hitting a bong, doing a keg stand, or eating McDonald's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Didn't think so.
What do you think? When it comes down to it, should parents openly use and discuss their guilty pleasures in front of their children, should they keep it behind closed doors, or not do it period? Is it the gateway to (over)use or a smart way to teach that it’s not taboo? Are the parents in the coffee shop simply dazed and confused and destined to have a Lindsay Lohan on their hands?
~ The Other Sarah
3 Comments
