Well, we've won the battle at bedtime.
I was waiting until we've had several nights (and naptimes) in a row where Griffin didn't get out of bed once before declaring victory but I'm ready to plant my flag. I don't expect him never to get up again but we no longer spend thrity minutes to an hour putting him back in bed every night.
After my last post, we recommitted ourselves to Supernanny's technique. When Griffin would get out of bed, we would walk him back to his bed without speaking. As many times as it took. Without speaking.
And - miracles of miracles - it started working. Slowly, we got down to only putting him back in bed about two or three times. It wasn't perfect but it wasn't bad. I decided I could do this indefinitely. Then, I stumbled upon a solution where I least expected it.
Spanking...or at least the threat of it.
As I confessed last time, we had tried spanking before. It was something I swore I would never do. I did not believe it hitting children. Ever. Then, on a particularly bad night, there I was spanking my two-year-old for getting out of bed. I was angry and I was acting out of that anger. I felt incredibly guilty afterwards, even more so because it didn't work. He kept getting up.
Then, I read this post and it got me thinking. It made me think there may be a way to spank succesfully. It's not that I made a definite decision to spank but it definitely planted a seed for more careful consideration. Then, a few days later the seed grew into a tree. It was naptime and Griffin kept getting up and kept getting up. He was laughing at me. He was throwing things. I was losing my patience. Then, I decided to try spanking. I wasn't angry. I didn't yell. I just told him calmly that if he got up again, he was going to get a spanking.
He got up.
I walked in to his room without speaking. I swatted his little butt and put him back in bed. I didn't say a word. He got up again and again I gave him a little spank without speaking. This happened one more time and then he went to sleep.
At nap time the next day, it happened again. He got up three times and the fourth time I told him if he got up again I was going to spank him. He got up. I gave him a small spank and he went to bed. Since that day, we haven't had an issue. Whenever he tells me he doesn't want to go to bed, I ask him what happens if he gets out of bed.
"I get a spanking."
He doesn't cry. He never seems to answer out of fear. It seems to be a true action and consenquences realization on his part. Now, I'm not saying this would work for everyone. I'm not even saying it is an all-encompassing solution for us. I have not started spanking all the time. I still use warnings and time out for the rest of our discipline issues. However, I will say it appears to have worked for bedtime.
Alas, just when I thougth the war was won, I was engaged on another front.
Now, we have children that are waking up too early in the morning...but that's a post for another time.
~ Sarah Stewart Holland
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